Okay, Truth Time: I did NOT write a blog/diary entry at the end of day 5 . . or day 6. My energy levels hit the floor, and my brain decided it was going to go on holiday as well – seriously – I couldn’t put together a coherent thought for the life of me on Saturday. The weather was cold and dreary and I had one of those “don’t feel like doing ANYTHING . . can’t make me!” kind of days.
On top of this, I’ll be honest – I was a bit depressed over the weekend. Not clinically depressed, or hormonal raging thyroid-out-of-whack depressed, or #omgthrowherinastraightjacket depressed. . . . more like throwing myself a pity party depressed because I’m sick and tired of my freaking knee hurting. And I miss Cycling. And I miss Weightlifting. And I miss CrossFit. And I miss just being active in general! I fall into a “funk” really easily when I go too long without regular physical activity, and I haven’t been able to do much of anything since my bike accident at the end of November. I’m rational enough to know that I’ve got a pretty amazing life – I’ve got an the world’s best hubby, a supportive and loving family, two precious dogs, a wonderful job, and some really great friends. There are people out there battling cancer, serious auto-immune disorders, and all kinds of things that are SO MUCH WORSE than a silly bum knee. . . but even knowing all of this, I still threw myself that pity party – and it felt kind of good to get it out of my system. Don’t get me wrong – I’m still pissed as hell that my knee is preventing me from doing so many of the things that I love to do – but I’m (trying to be) over the “poor-pitiful-me” feelings. There’s nothing that I can do that I’m not already doing. . . Foam Rolling, Stretching, Ice, Ibuprofen, “Mountain Magic Liniment ” (yes, I’m desperately trying anything and everything that might help), and above all else – REST. That’s the hardest part. Not a single fiber of my Type A brain wants to rest right now. But I’m doing it. Because I know that it’s what I need to do in order to heal. But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t suck! So – because there is nothing more that I can do that I’m not already doing, I’m doing my best to be as content as possible, take the extra time on my hands to do some productive things 🙂
Okay, Rant over.
So, on Saturday, I was low on energy, a bit on the “gloomy” side, and just generally in a funk. I stuck to my Whole30 guns 100% in regards to food quality, BUT looking back, I realize that I snacked a LOT more than I should have. I snacked initially out of hunger. . .then I snacked because I was sad. . . then I snacked because I was bored. . . then I snacked because I felt guilty about all of the snacking . . .( a bit counter-productive, don’t ya think?). Now granted, all of my snacking was on “good” foods – leftover chicken livers, raw almonds, cherries, spinach muffins . . . but I was feeding my EMOTIONS rather than a true HUNGER, and that’s one of the unhealthy habits that I’m hoping to break with this Whole30.
Sooo – I’m glad that I am able to recognize this snacking for what it was, and now I will try to be much more aware of how I’m feeling before I grab my next snack. Am I really hungry? Or am I just trying to feed my emotions?
Well, that about wraps up this Diary entry. I did get up Saturday morning and went to the Farmer’s Market and the Grocery store, and I fixed Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner . . . but that is where my productivity ended for the day. Chalking it up to a bad day. . learning from my mistakes. . and moving on 🙂
For me, it comes down to a need for pleasure. I dont snack because im hungry, I just want the pleasure I get from tasting this or that. Im especially in need on down days, sad days and things like that. Anyway, snacking is a part of the human diet, Im sure.