Why?

Why Do I Live the Paleo Lifestyle?

I remember when I did my first round of the Whole30 Program in July, I had a TON of people ask me why in the world I would “put myself through that”.

When I say a TON of people, I’m not exaggerating in the slightest. Family, Friends, CoWorkers, Waitresses in Reastaraunts. . . . . No one could understand my motivation.

I tried explaining myself, but most people just shook their heads and said “Well you’re crazy, but good luck!” (By the way – when I get called “crazy” from time to time – I take it as a compliment. . . it means I’m different – and I want to be different! Who wants to a carbon copy of everyone else?!?)

At the time, I had a ton of reasons for wanting to “Put myself through it” ranging from health issues to vanity reasons. After about two months of strict Whole30 Compliance, I sat myself back down and re-evaluated the reasons that I have chosen this way of eating. I am one of those people that won’t do something unless I understand WHY it is that I’m doing it. In other words, I have to understand the Why? behind the How? before I can fully commit to a decision.

So what are my personal reasons for choosing to stay Paleo?

#1: Prevention of Autoimmune Disease

  • Autoimmune disease runs rampid in my family. It would be easier to list the autoimmune diseases that DON’T run in my family than to try to list the ones that DO. But a short list of the biggies include: Chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy (CIDP), Interstitial Cystitis, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Lupus, Autonomic Neuropathy, Ulcerative Colitis, and Thyroid Disease. Additionally, adult onset Diabetes and Osteoporosis are also prevalent in my immediate family.
  • I love my family dearly and I hate to see them suffer with the pain that these diseases cause. I would do anything that I could to make it go away for them. Unfortunately, I don’t have the power to take their diseases away, but I am going to do everything in my power to prevent the onset of these diseases in my future.
  • The elimination of Grains, Gluten, Dairy, Soy, Nightshades, Legumes, and Artificial Sweetners has been linked to the remission of many auto-immune diseases, and there are a ton of studies out there that suggest that adhering to a diet free of these inflammatory foods can prevent the onset of autoimmune diseases in people that are pre-disposed to them. THIS is the BIGGEST reason that I have chosen to follow the Paleo Diet for life! My health and quality of life is worth a little “inconvenience” when it comes to finding and preparing approved foods!

#2 – I Feel Better!

  • My personal experience has shown me that I feel like a million bucks when I adhere to a strict Paleo Diet. I have all kind of digestive problems that all but dissapear when I’m “strict”. My mood in general is better, I have more energy, I sleep better. . .I just plain feel better. MUCH better. So much so that I can’t imagine ever going back to feeling like I did before!
  • I honestly didn’t think that I was “sick” or that I didn’t feel good before. But in comparison to how I feel now, I realize that I was tired, sluggish, and drained most of the time. When you’ve felt like this for a really, really long time, it just becomes “normal” to you, and you forget what really and truly feeling GOOD feels like!

#3 – I’m Vain!

  • Yep – you heard that right – I’m admitting it. I’m Vain. I look and peform SO MUCH better when my diet is dialed in. . . . and I like that! And you know what? I like it when people notice it too! I love the feeling of squeezing into a pair of jeans that I couldn’t get my big toe into 3 months ago. And I don’t ever want to experience the feeling of having those jeans get too tight again! I like going to the beach and not worrying about taking off my shorts and exposing my cellulite! I love setting PR’s in the gym and watching my strength increase. I love watching the little “turkey neck” that I had under my chin dissapear (no more gobble gobble!!), and watching my abs show up a little more each week. Lastly, I love that for the first time since I was a teenager, I’m 95% acne free.

Well, those are my PERSONAL responses to all of the “Why’s”. These reasons may or may not motivate you to try or stick with a Paleolithic Diet. I have found that it’s not worth doing unless I want to do it and have good, solid reasons to fall back on when I have a moment of weakness and really want a DQ blizzard. . . 🙂
So if you’re considering trying a round of the Whole30, or you’re finishing it up and trying to decide if you’re going to make this new way of eating a way of life – do yourself a favor and do a little self-reflection. Determine what YOUR reasons are for wanting to eat this way – write them down – and pull them out to remind yourself from time to time.

Patience is a Virtue. . .

For someone with my personality, patience is one of the things I struggle with the most. Not patience with others, but more patience when waiting for things to happen or in this case, waiting for injuries to heal. I want to get back in the game ASAP even though logic is telling me that I need to take it easy for a few days. . .

On Tuesday I was doing a WOD that involved a lot of Hang Power Snatches at 65 lbs. To me, this weight felt heavy, but definitely not unmanagable. Unfortunately though, as fatigue set in I started to let my form slip and as a result I tweaked a muscle in my back on one of the very last reps. Throughout the rest of the day my back got tighter and tigher as it continued to spasm every time I’d move a certain way, so I decided to give it a few days off. I’ve been keeping ice on it taking anti-inflammatories to help with the swelling. It’s feeling much better, but not quite 100% just yet.

The “smart/logical” side of my brain is telling me that I need to just chill out for a few more days and let it heal completely before resuming my training. I know that if I go back too soon I will prolong the healing time and it could turn into a nagging injury that holds me back for months. Unfortunately, the “other” side of my brain is less logical and feels like I’m losing ground every single day that I don’t train!
Fortunately my wonderful husband is my voice of reason, and every time I say “well maybe I’ll just do something light” he threatens to chain me to the furniture and reminds me that I will make a lot more progress if I wait just another few days and go back at it when I’m 100%.

So good luck to all the CrossFitters out there doing Fight Gone Bad today! I’ll be cheering you on from my couch . . . patiently!

Quick Update & My Experience w/ 100% Cacao

Wow – I didn’t mean to go so long in between blog posts. . . it’s been a crazy few weeks in the Tracy household!

I’ve been having thyroid issues for a long while now, but it took my Dr. forever to agree to refer me to an endocrinologist . . . long story short, I finally got the referral and the treatment that I needed 🙂 I went in for Thyroid Radiation Therapy last week. . . the treatment itself was a piece of cake, but I was on “quarantine” for a full week after the treatment – and that sucked! They told me that I wasn’t allowed to do anything that would make me sweat for 7 full days. . . wow . . . for someone that works out 6 days a week, that was torture! Living in S. Texas, you can’t even step foot outside for more than 2 minutes w/o breaking into a sweat!! In addition to this, I couldn’t go grocery shopping, or be around the general public. My hubby and I had to have separate bedrooms for the week, and couldn’t sit next to each other on the couch. So my Labor Day weekend was no fun at all! I had some minor side effects from the radiation like lack of energy, a face full of zits, and a mildly sore throat, but it’s over now, and I’m back into my normal “routine”, thank goodness!

I’ve continued to stay Whole30 compliant, and am still having fun finding and preparing all kinds of new recipes. One quick note regarding the Whole30 – Recently, Melissa and Dallas agreed that using 100% cocoa in moderation was “ok” as long as it was not used to feed a craving or to substitute for “candy” (See “The Great Cocoa Debate” for more details). . . so I thought I’d give it a try. . . NEVER AGAIN!!! Here’s what happened:

I found some Ghirardelli 100% Cacao Gourmet Baking Chocolate “nibs”. They came in a black zip-top bag and looked kind of like flattened out mini kisses. They were completely unsweetened with the only ingredients being 100% Unsweetened Chocolate. A 16g serving (approx 18 pieces) provided 80 Kcal, 8g fat, 5g Carb, 2g Fiber, 0g Sugar, & 2g Protein. I thought to myself . . “Hmmm. . well, I finished out 30 days of the whole 30 and am around day 45 now . . I think I’ve banished my sugar demons for good. . so I’m going to pick these up, pop them in the freezer, and maybe sprinkle a few nibs in my fruit salad in the morning every now and then.” HA!!! Boy was I wrong on SO MANY FRONTS!!!
  1. Apparently, I have NOT banished my sugar demons 100%.. . at least not in the presence of chocolate in any shape or form
  2. “Every now and then” turned into every single morning, and then multiple times a day . .
  3. “A few nibs” turned into a full serving. . . initially once a day, and then . . well . . you can guess where it went from there. . .

I started by mixing in 5 little frozen nibs (yes I counted) with some blueberries, strawberries, almonds, unsweetened coconut flakes, and a splash of coconut milk in the morning. This was REALLY YUMMY, and fully Whole30 compliant, and really nutritious as well. But when the chocolate hit my tongue, it awakened this monster inside me that I thought I had banished. . . and I craved more chocolate for at least 2 hours. I caved and had a few nibs after lunch . . and then recognized that I was doing just what I was NOT supposed to be doing – using these things as a crutch for my cravings which I thought I had done away with. The next day I found myself mixing some nibs in w/ a Tb of Natural Raw Almond Butter. . . Oh Crap . . It was oh so good. . . but OH SO BAD for me mentally.
Long story short, after three days of fighting with myself every time I walked by the freezer, I threw that bag away and took the trash bag not only outside, but all the way to the dumpster at the curb to prevent myself from digging it back out. . lol. . yes, I love my chocolate!
Moral of the story? For me personally, it is not a good idea to add Chocolate in any shape or form back into my diet. I’m not in the slightest “blaming” the Whole30 crew for their decision to allow it – I think that there are plenty of people out there who could use it in moderation as a supplement and spice to a healthy diet (similar to how I use cinmamon, cumin, tumeric, etc). I just happen to NOT be one of those people, and can recognize it 🙂 So no more chocolate, Cacao, Cocoa, or whatever for me. . .

On to more pleasant things in life – –

I’m planning to max out my lifts later this week once some of my soreness has gone away. . . taking a week off definitely took it’s toll on me! But I’m almost back to “normal” again 🙂 I’m really looking forward to re-assessing where I stand and continuing to move forward in my journey to become stronger and more athletic 🙂
**Additional Note Added Later**
One more thing that I thought I’d point out regarding my mental/physical reaction to the cacao. Over the last week, my face has broken out horribly – I’ve got about 4 monsters on my chin/forhead (you know, the kind that HURT and are deep as hell?!?!), as well as a bunch of little “under-the-skin” bumps. Initially, I contributed this really bad breakout to the radiation therapy that I had done. I assumed that I had swallowed a pill that effectively had POISON in it, and the breakouts were a result of this poison working it’s way out of my system. . .and that may very well be the case. However I think it’s also worth pointing out that the breakout also occured at the same time that I was trying to experimentally re-introduce 100% Cacao into my diet. I know that it’s supposedly an “old wives tale” that chocolate makes you break out, however in the past I always seemed to break out when I’d eat more chocolate than normal. . . . so it could be that this breakout is a result of the radiation therapy, or it could be my body’s reaction to the chocolate. . . or mabye a little bit of both. I’ll never really know for sure, but I thought it worth pointing out!

Pushing the “Reset” Button on my Cravings

I’ve had several people ask me if I REALLY (like for reals??) don’t crave sweets anymore. And I can understand their skepticism! Anyone who knows me personally knows that I L-O-V-E sugar.

My nickname is D.Q. for goodness sake (b/c of the affinity that I had for DQ Blizzards!!) My two biggest weaknesses were Krispy Kreme donuts and Dairy Queen Blizzards.

So it doesn’t bother me that my friends are a bit skeptical of my claims – I think I would be too if it were someone else claiming that they honestly didn’t crave sugar anymore. A month ago, I thought it wasn’t possible!

I’ve tried to kick my cravings about a million times before. I’ve done everything from just trying to ignore them (epic FAIL), to going on a month-long protein drink diet that was supposed to extinguish cravings (yeah, don’t ask. . . how is consuming nothing but sweet protien shakes for a month going to help you get over sugar cravings?? What was I thinking?)

I’ve gone “mostly” Paleo for long stretches of time in the past (up to 6 months), but each of those times, I still had to fight my cravings regularly which never failed to put me in a bad mood. I enjoyed the healthy foods that I was eating, but I still craved sugar daily and it was a constant battle within my head to refrain from eating it.

So what did I do differently this time? I followed the Whole30’s instructions not to try to “paleo-fy” Non-Paleo foods – No “Paleo Ice Cream”, “Paleo Pancakes”, “Paleo Pudding”, etc.

In other words, No Fakes!

In the past when I’ve done my stints of eating Paleo, I’d find ways to paleo-fy EVERYTHING. One of my favorite snacks was raw honey, almond butter, and cocoa powder heated for a few secs and stirred together. While those ingredients were technically “Paleo” (although not Whole30 approved), the combination of them effectively created a dessert. So any time that I’d crave sugar, I’d whip up one of these snacks. I always craved dessert after dinner, so I’d end up eating one (or. . gulp . . two) of these snacks just about every single night. I also stumbled across the “So Delicious” Coconut Ice Cream in the myriad of flavors, and justified to myself that the ingredients were 99% Paleo, so this stuff was okay . . and I’d crack out a few times a month by eating half a pint (or sometimes a full pint) of the stuff. . . yeah, that didn’t do much to kill my sugar cravings either!

I’d found recipes for coconut macaroon cookies that used a crap-ton of Agave Nectar or Raw Honey. . . and I’d found recipes for cookies and puddings. All using technically “Paleo” ingredients. . . but essentially just junk food.

Additionally, I didn’t cut artificial sweetners (Splenda, Truvia) out of my diet. So I would sprinkle them on everything. I’d put 2-3 packets in my coffee in the morning for a sweet treat. I’d sprinkle them on grapefruit, and even on sweet potatoes (like they’re not already sweet enough!!)

So every time that my sugar craving would kick in, I’d answer it with exactly what it wanted – Sugar (or fake sugar). Even if it was from more natural sources – it was still crap!

This time around, I did not Paleo-Fy a single thing. I used no artificial sweetners, honey, or agave nectar. I avoided even “good” foods that I knew might start up a craving. One example of this is fruit.

I know that fruit is good for us, and am not going to sit here and suggest that anyone cut fruit entirely out of their diets. But for me personally, I have chosen to significantly cut back my fruit intake during the Whole30, and will continue to do so after experiencing the results. I only eat fruit once a day, and it’s almost always in the morning with my breakfast (usually berries). I also avoid super sweet fruits like pineapples, mangoes, and melons because I’ve learned from experience that these tend to kick off a rampid sugar craving. I eat a piece of pineapple, and start craving a krispy kreme donut. . go figure!

Of course I understand that not everyone’s body reacts the way mine does to fruit, so if you’re able to eat it without having it send you on a sugar binge, than great!

I think it’s a combination of all of these things that have helped me to kick the sugar habit, and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve never been so in touch with my body, and the way it responds to different types of foods – it’s really actually kind of cool 🙂

**Additional Note (added later)**
I realized after posting this that I should mention that I DO plan on allowing myself the very occasional Paleo Treat or piece of pineapple – it’s not that I’ve cut them out of my diet forever and ever amen. But I have been able to finally gain control of my sugar cravings, so I know when I do something that may bring one on, and can brace myself for it 🙂 So I may occasionally eat some pineapple or a Paleo Dessert (the key word here being occasionally – as in not often), but I will do so knowing that it will likely spur a small sugar craving – and I’ll be prepared for it!

Acne-Free Skin Can Be YOURS!!


Okay, so enough with the info-mercial title – but seriously – it’s true!

I started the Whole30 a month ago because I wanted to feel healthy again. I was tired of feeling rundown and crappy all of the time, and also tired of the guilt I felt after nearly every single meal that I ate. Those were my primary motivations for starting this new way of eating. . . but over the course of the last 30 days, I’ve noticed a few other unexpected bonuses!!

  • CLEAR SKIN!!! – I had acne as a teenager, but always assumed that it would go away when I “grew up”. Unfortunately, I’m in my early 30’s, and was devastated at the fact that I still had regular breakouts! Rarely a day went by that I didn’t have at least one blemish on my face, and most of the time, I had several around my chin and nose. I just assumed that it was my genetics, and did the best I could to minimize them with skin care and prescription topical acne meds. Even with the prescription meds, I broke out regularly though. About half-way through the Whole30, I noticed that my skin had cleared up – I was skeptical, and braced myself for another round of breakouts, but they never happened! I’ve been 100% acne free now for about 15 days. . . not long enough to prove anything really, but I’m confident that my new way of eating is responsible for my clear skin. It’s the ONLY thing that I’ve changed 🙂 Reference the pic above – I took this pic last week after a haircut – but notice that there are NO blemishes on my face – this is absolutely the first time I’ve been blemish free for as long as I can remember – and I’m LOVING it! Not only am I blemish free, but my skin looks much healthier in general – it’s no longer dull, and has a little bit of a “glow” to it!
  • Weight Loss – My primary goal was not weight loss, but I knew I had a few inches to lose from my hips and legs that had crept on as a result of my crappy diet. I didn’t take measurements before hand, and didn’t weigh myself throughout the month because i didn’t want to be a slave to the scale or the measuring tape. I DID weigh myself the day that I started though (July 29th). I was 154.4 lbs. I weighed myself again this morning, and was SHOCKED to see 140.4 pop up on the scale! I’ve somehow lost 14 lbs in the last month. I haven’t gone hungry one single time – I’m eating a much larger volume of food than I was before – it’s just healthy, clean food! My jeans are falling off of me (Darn – guess I’ll have to go shopping!!), and my workout pants nearly landed around my ankles when doing double unders this morning! And I can say with confidence that I haven’t lost an ounce of muscle. My strength gains over the last month have been great!
  • Improved Performance in the Gym – All of my WOD times are steadily improving. I can do more pullups in a row than I could 30 days ago (23 vs. 6 – really). I can lift more weight, and do it faster. I don’t get winded as easily (more stamina). Really, what more could I want?
  • No More Energy Dips – I’m no longer experiencing a roller coaster of energy levels throughout the day! I’m not a slave to the coffee pot (although I still enjoy a cup of black coffee in the morning), and I don’t find myself nodding off mid-afternoon! I sleep better at night, and have more energy throughout the day – it’s great!
  • Emotional Stability / HEALTHY attitude toward food! – I’m an emotional person – always have been. I cry at chic flicks, and I’ll get weepy at the drop of a hat. But aside from that, I was on an emotional roller coaster that I couldn’t seem to get off of over the last several months, and most of it was driven by food, and guilt associated with food, or frustration over trying to refrain from eating foods that I was craving like crazy – and then ultimately guilt again when I caved into the craving. It was a vicious cycle that I couldn’t seem to break. I was constantly fighting myself. I couldn’t ever be happy because I was obsessed with food. I was always either fighting a craving, or feeling guilty for giving into a craving – there was never any “peace”. I know this sounds crazy to a lot of people, but I love food – I had an emotional attachment to food. I used it as a reward and as consolement when I was feeling bad. I snacked constantly when I was bored, and every achievement was “rewarded” with food, most of the time bad food, which killed the feeling of accomplishment that I got from whatever the achievement was. When I was extremely happy – I ate to celebrate. When I was extremely sad – I ate to comfort myself. I can now HONESTLY say that I have finally broken this cycle!! This for me is the BIGGEST accomplishment of the month. I don’t crave crap anymore, which means I’m not fighting myself constantly – which results in me being less grumpy, crotchety, and irritable ALL THE TIME! I am able to view food as nothing more than a fuel source. I eat when I’m hungry, and don’t eat when I’m not. It’s that simple. I never thought I’d get to this point, and am absolutely awestruck that I managed to get here in such a short period of time. Don’t get me wrong – I still LOVE food! But it doesn’t rule my world and my emotions any more 🙂

There are probably a ton of other subtle improvements to my overall well-being, but these are the ones that I’ve most appreciated. I am a new woman. I am a happy woman. I am a healthy woman. I am an energetic woman. I am NEVER going back. Not ever. No amount of sugar or chocolate is worth it!

Momma Always Said . . . .

“Don’t Run in the House”!!!!

Coach Wilkes was kind enough to remind me of this after hearing about the great “Toe Incident of 2010” in which I managed to ram my foot into the couch leg at “mach 5” when running to let the dogs in. . . . resulting in a broken 5th digit . . pretty, right??? lol

So my training plans have been sidetracked slightly, but I’m trying to make the best out of the situation by using the next several weeks to work my upper body and core, both of which are in desperate need of improvement!

I was supposed to max all of my lifts next week after a light week this week, but that just isn’t going to happen . . . will post-pone my max efforts until my foot is healed up – hopefully by the 3rd week in February.

Today, I decided to work on some L-sits, Handstand holds, and Ring Dips – what a humbling and horrifying experience! I was mortified to realize how much I have been neglecting my core work. . . my L-sits were embarassing at best. Handstand holds were okay. . . and Ring Dips were non-existant w/o the help of a band.

Game plan to improve? I brought home some parallettes. I’ll be working on L-sit progressions nightly – about 15 minutes per night. Starting with legs bent in, then one leg out at a time, and finally a full L-sit (Thanks Greg for this progression suggestion!!). I hope to be able hold a full L-sit on parallettes for 20 seconds by the end of February.

As for ring dips, the problem is clearly in the strength of my triceps (or lack thereof). I’m going to take Lance’s suggestion and do 50 triangle pushups nightly in order to abuse the hell out of my triceps and hopefully increase my strength. I’ll continue to work on Ring Dips once a week and monitor my improvement. I hope to be able to do RX ring dips by the end of February as well.

Upping my Caloric Intake

Okay, it’s official – I need to put on some (healthy) weight in order to really maximize my potential in Olympic Lifting.

Have you ever seen a 5’9″ 135 lb Oly Lifter at the competitive level? Yeah, me neither!

Here’s the game plan (changes to workouts):

  • Cut out CrossFit Endurance sessions (for now)
  • Continue to follow Coach Wilkes Oly Lifting Programing 5x per week
  • Do CrossFit MetCon workouts 5x per week (3 on, 1 off, 2 on, 1 off), but spend more time working on skills like ring dips, chest to bars, hand stand pushups, ect. . . . and also concentrate more on proper form, technique and full ROM than speed – I think that the speed will come if I improve the rest of it

Here’s the game plan (changes to eating plan):

  • Staying Paleo, but increasing Caloric Intake from 1,300 range to 1,800 range
  • Majority of extra calories will come from red meat and healthy fats
  • More Steak, Ground Beef (grass-fed), Whole Eggs, Avocado, Nuts, Nut Butters, ect.
  • Will eat steak/ground meat w/ slightly higher fat content (85-90% lean instead of xtra lean)
  • Still going to try to keep fruit and simple carb intake to a minimum, but will eat approx 6 oz sweet potato immediately post-workout (after my Oly lifting sessions, not MetCon)

I’ve never actually tried to put on healthy weight before – I hope that a considerable amount of it will be muscle, but I know that the “other stuff” is going to come along for the ride, and I’m okay with that, as long as my performance and lifts increase simultaneously.
I have no idea how quickly I will see a difference, as I’ve never done this before and don’t have any past experience to draw from. For now, I’m going to set a goal of reaching 145-150 in the next 4-6 months, with a large portion of the gain hopefully contributed to increased muscle mass (and resulting increased strength).
If anyone has reading this has any suggestions or critiques of my plan, please feel free to fire away! I’m new to this, and it will definitely be an experimental process – and I’m sure I’ll make adjustments along the way.
If you don’t think my goal is realistic, or if you think I’m under-shooting it, please feel free to chime in there too!

Not feeling so hot!

Ugh, I really feel crummy today 🙁 This cold has finally gotten the better of me! I felt okay when I woke up, but have been feeling worse and worse throughout the day.

CF this morning was good. Did 15 Deadlifts/15 Pushups – 10 rounds. RX was 95lbs on the Deads, I did 99lbs. Wow did they get heavy by the 6th or 7th round! My final time was just over 20 minutes. I did the first 2 rounds of strict pushups, and then went to my knees to avoid compromising my form.

Lifting was AWESOME last night! I FINALLY pressed the 65 lbs for all sets. . . . they were really ugly, but I did it! Only thing is that I did bounce a little bit at the bottom of each rep (okay a LOT by the final set). I’m going to drop it down to 60 next week and concentrate on eliminating the bounce before I go back up in weight.

Okay, on to food. I’m on day 3 of being strict.

So far today:

4:30am – 2 mini sweet potato frittatas (pre CF)
6:30am – 3 oz sweet potato + 1/4 scoop Protein powder (post CF)
8:00am – 1/4 cup steel cut oats, 1 T Almond Butter, 1/2 scoop Protein Powder (needed energy!)
11:45am – 4 oz Tilapia + Salad w/ spinach, tomato, onion, avocado, 1 hb egg, carrots, and balsamic vinegar
Afternoon – Snacked on 1 TB Almond Butter & a few saltine crackers. . .later had 1/2 plumcott
6:30pm – 1 Link Lean Turkey Sausage + Zuchinni, Squash, and Onions sauteed in EVOO

Really felt crappy by the end of the night. . I know the saltines weren’t Paleo, but I had to do something to settle my stomach mid-afternoon.

Missed my Oly lifting session tonight b/c I felt absolutely horrible, not to mention I don’t think the others in the gym would have appreciated me sneezing and coughing all over them!